18 Jul 2019, 07:00 — 5 min read
I was crushed to the ground. For the past seven months, I’ve been wrestling with keeping my self-esteem high. A series of "ugly events" that happened late last year up to early this year messed up with how I perceived myself big time, forgetting all the great things God has gifted me – talents, skills, and a big heart.
Yes, it happened to me. And it can happen to anyone, especially to my fellow Mommies. For reasons like betrayal, rejection, mean treatment and unfavorable circumstances, one can experience a blow to his/her self-esteem.
I’m still on my journey to complete healing, but here are some of the things that I have done (and continuously do) that helped me restore my "spark". I’m sharing this here because I know there are other women who are suffering from the same emotional chaos.
1. Take a step back and keep things low
In silence, I found calm which was and is essential to my healing. Don’t be too hard on yourself and learn to embrace the silence.
2. Let the key people in your life know what you are going through
These people made conscious efforts to help me recover. My soul sister prays for me and lends her ears whenever I needed. My husband lovingly understands my terrible mood swings and he constantly reminds me how special I am and how much he loves me.
Things like these truly count. It is really a tough battle to win one's self again especially doing it alone. You should learn how to seek help and support from the key people in your life.
3. Read, listen, and watch motivational materials every day
I encourage you to do this every single day. Sometimes, we thought that we already know enough about the fundamentals ways of recovering one self-esteem, but truth be told, there are always an ‘aha’ moments from each motivational material out there.
4. Reach out and give help to other people
This is one of the best ways to feel better. Learn to extend help. It has always been empowering that I made someone smile through my simple efforts. Hearing that genuine ‘thank you’ from others are uplifting.
5. Open yourself to more opportunities
Though this part can be risky. As you open yourself to opportunities, you are also opening yourself to rejection.
But when you are determined to redeem yourself, you will forget the risk of rejection. My mantra is: My spirit is already crushed enough, so there’s nothing to lose, and I have everything to gain. When new clients express their appreciation to my hard work, I am reminded of the amazing things I am capable of. And there's also the financial reward that adds to it.
6. Learn how to fully forgive
Indeed, this is the hardest part. I realized that the more I nurtured the pain, the longer it pulled me down; so I decided and learned to let go. There's still fear, though. At the back of my head, I am scared ‘that thing’ might happen again. Well, this one's I'm still working on with the help of the next step below.
7. Pray incessantly
Whenever negative thoughts start to occupy your head, learn to immediately dismiss it through prayers. You can always draw strength from His words. It's truly amazing how God answers your prayers. He never fails to make ways to strengthen me and help me rebuild myself.
8. Reward yourself
Treat yourself with a sumptuous meal. Have coffee with your friends, read a good book, watch Netflix, and take a quality time with your loved ones. These things when collectively done, can make a great impact on your journey to redeeming your self-esteem.
I have no idea how long will it take for your complete healing. It’s a tough process. Along the way, there may be some events that might shake you, but you should be determined. Remember that your children are watching you on how you handle life, so you must set a good example. Besides, I am always reminded that I have my God who wouldn't forsake me. With Him, everything is possible. Complete healing is possible.
Jesus looked straight at them and answered, “This is impossible for human beings, but for God everything is possible.” - Matthew 19:26
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Posted byLerma Micua Ermitanio
MOMpreneurs Club PH founder / Perfumer / Entrepreneur / Mother
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